3 Jokes That Make People Instantly Like You

Ellen Degeneres is one of the most likeable hosts on television and it’s largely due to the types of the jokes she makes. Almost every host is funny but Ellen’s style of comedy has a way of it instantly endearing her guests to her. With… Where will you raise the boy? (laughs) You are funny, Ellen. So today we’re going to talk about the most common types of jokes that Ellen makes, how you can use those jokes to get people to immediately like you, and some habits that you can work on to generally be funnier and more positive throughout your day. So let’s start with the obvious — since Ellen is at her core a comedienne, her jokes. Here’s an example of the typical joke that Ellen might crack. Robyn, when were you born? What year? ’88. ’88? 1988. Yeah. I’ve shoes that are, like, from ’88. (audience laughs) I still have a couple of vests that I wear from ’88. (laughs) But we could talk about Ellen’s style of understated humor and how that’s different from someone like Jim Carey, but what’s most important here is to note that Ellen’s jokes don’t hurt anyone. So often when the people in our lives crack jokes, the room laughs but someone there feels crappy — that person is the butt of the joke. For an example of this, check out one of the few times that I actually saw Ellen actually make a joke at someone’s expense. …and I have to say, one of the most amazing Liza Minnelli impersonator I have ever seen in my entire life is the… really, seriously… (audience applauds) good job, sir. I mean, that is really… (audience laughs) You can tell by the grimace that Liza Minnelli doesn’t feel particularly good about that joke. Now, luckily, Ellen doesn’t crack that type of joke often but it does serve as a good reminder. Consistently making jokes where there is a loser might make people laugh in the moment but it’s going to alienate someone and if you do that often enough, you’re going to alienate most everyone and that’s good to keep in mind because that’s how a lot of us are especially with our friends. Let’s look at what Ellen does instead. First off, she makes herself the butt of some of her jokes often comparing herself unfavorably to her guests. This is classic self-deprecating humor and is what was going on in that first Rihanna clip. I’ve shoes that are, like, from ’88. (audience laughs) I still have a couple of vests that I wear from ’88. And the same thing is going on here where Ellen jokes about how similar she is to Malala. If you don’t know who Malala is, she won the Nobel Peace Prize at age 17 making her the youngest recipient ever. We want them to take action, we want them to do something and it’s important that you highlight it to them. Yes, exactly. (audience applauds) Eighteen years old. Eighteen years old, I was very similar to this. (audience laughs) An important side note is that when we’re breaking down a joke, the literal words are less important than the subtext because the subtext is often opposite to what someone is literally saying — that’s what makes it a joke. For example, Ellen’s word said that she is like Malala but we all understand the subtext to be that Ellen was nothing like Malala at age 18. We also understand that to be a compliment. She’s saying how mature and inspiring Malala is at only 18 years old. Here’s another example of a different joke. See if you can identify the subtext here. Ellen: That’s lovely.
Jennifer: It’s a really good feeling. And getting a deep breath. Yeah, yeah. That’s the most important thing too. Especially when you have bronchitis like me right now. (audience laughs) Sorry. I was like, “Come on, — Yeah. — let’s have more fun with it.” Oh! (laughs) (audience laughs) There’s no words to this joke but the subtext might be something like, “Jennifer is sick and I don’t want her to touch me.” Now, this joke is technically at Jennifer Lopez’s expense. After all, not wanting her to touch you is in the subtext. But this particular joke is harmless. It’s not going to alienate anybody because most people are not insecure about being sick. Why? Well, as a rule of thumb, people are unlikely to be insecure about things that are either temporary, common or not core to their identity. They are likely to be more insecure about things that are permanent, uncommon or core to their identity. So this joke works and doesn’t upset anybody because even though J. Lo is the butt of it, it’s not something that J. Lo is likely to get upset about. You can call this type of joke “poking fun.” So let’s check out another joke with the same kind of structure and again, see if you can identify the subtext. Stay in school. I’m sure these people went to college. I mean, Amy Adams, you went to college, right? No. Okay, we’ll let… who cares? (audience laughs) The subtext of the first bit is that Amy didn’t go to college. And again, this falls into the category of poking fun. It’s something that she’s unlikely to be insecure about because she is a wildly successful actress. Now, this is important — If she had not yet made it and was seriously doubting whether or not she had made the right choice to skip college, this joke might have stung. It might have upset her identity and in that case, it would have been a bad idea. So context matters. There’s also a second joke that Ellen cracks. The subtext of the second one was that Amy is nominated twice for an Oscar. That’s actually a subtext that builds her up. Hear this one here really quickly. You’re an amazing actress. You’re nominated, not one, but two nominated films tonight that you were in. That’s just… (audience applauds) That is so… what is the word for it… selfish, I guess. (audience laughs) This is the gold standard of jokes that create instant likeability. You can call them “ego boosters” because when you make people laugh while commenting on how successful, good-looking, kind or likeable they are, they will immediately like you and want to spend more time around you. So reflecting back on the time that you recently made people laugh, ask yourself. What kinds of jokes were you making? Were they self-deprecating, poking fun, ego boosters or you’re making jokes that had a loser? It’s important to know because the first three tend to improve relationships while jokes that have losers can actually be damaging to those relationships. And if you’re stumped, it’s possible that your jokes fall into a category of jokes that are just silly. These are jokes that make people laugh simply because they’re surprised to them. For example, you might have a play on words like this one. Uh, amazing performance and twelve years a slave, she is from Kenya, she is a Kenyan and Barkhad Abdi is here. He is nominated for a Captain Phillips. He’s from Somalia, he is a Somali so he knows a lot about wine and that is impressive. (audience laughs) Or could be just a random surprise like walking up behind someone while their rehearsing and making a bunch of noise. The end bla la la… Bla lalalala. (laughs) That’s probably what it would sound like. Did that mess you up? It’s exactly that. (laughs) Or simply making something preposterous up like Ellen does with Will Smith when she tells him that he has to finish hosting the Oscars for her. They said, they said, that you… I quit and you’re taking over? Wou– (laughs) Finish it for me. Listen, Ellen had to leave… We have opportunities to make these kinds of silly jokes all day long but I noticed that very few people actually do. Once people move through life on a kind of literal autopilot even though we usually all laugh when people are silly with us. So the big questions is — if silly is so much fun, why is it so difficult for some people and so easy for others? Why do some people always give the boring literal answer while others have an easier time being playful? Ellen provides a few clues which you can incorporate into your own life and these might seem random but a lot of the goofy things that she does on her show prime her to be playful for the rest of the day. For instance, there is the mint toss at the beginning of her show where she chucks a mint in the air and tries to catch it. …or not and because you make it look crazy easy. I mean, it’s insane. I’ve tried it before and it’s not as easy as you make it look. And I don’t even know why I started that. I just kind of love to have fun and sometimes I think, “Why am I doing that?” (audience laughs) Walk out and throw a mint in the air. And it’s sort of just a challenge for myself just to kind of start in a playful mood. There’s the constant dancing scene goofing off which is something her show has become famous for. And of course, the games that she plays with her guests. It was actually Ellen and her team that made the Heads Up app which was one of the most popular apps in the world for a while. (gibberish French) French. Yeah, yeah. (gibberish Swedish) (audience laughs) Get it? (laughs) (gibberish Swedish) Swedish! Yeah! Obviously, Ellen has the support of a talk show and a team to make all of these games into a larger-than-life reality but you can incorporate the lessons that Ellen gives into your own life and those will help make you more playful on a day-to-day basis. First, find a simple ritual like the mint toss that makes you smile. Do it the beginning of your day or prior to walking into any interaction. Second, move your body. You can literally dance. I’ve talked about this in tons of other videos which I’m going to link too but just trust me, the more expressive you are in your movements, the funnier and more positive you’re going to be in your conversations. And then third, find a way to bring actual games into your interactions. I admit, you cannot always do this in a professional environment but in the social world, you can whip out the Heads Up app on your phone if you find the conversation turning boring. I know it might sound silly but one round of that and it is amazing how people brighten up and open up conversationally. The point is, make sure to prime yourself to be playful. It’s because that Ellen has created a lifestyle that makes her more fun and positive all the time that she makes a really incredible first impression. But of course fun isn’t the only piece you need. If you want to consistently make a great first impression, there are four emotions that you want to hit in order. Most people totally get the order wrong even if they do hit the emotions, which is why they don’t always make a great first impression. If you’re curious about those four emotions and, more importantly, what order you need to hit them in, go ahead now and click the screen. It’s going to take you to another page where you drop your email and you can get access to a video that’s going to show you those emotions and the order that you need to hit them in so you can use it today. Also, if you haven’t done so yet, make sure to subscribe to the channel. We make a new video every single week that’s going to help you master some element of your charisma. This week, it was charismatic humor but we’ve been known to cover everything from competence to story-telling to leadership so if you don’t want to miss a video, go ahead and click the button to subscribe now. Any suggestions — leave those in the comments below. I’m compiling a long list now and I go through it whenever I need a new video idea which is basically every single week so make sure to write down any topics or celebrities that you like to be covered. And of course, I hope that you have enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.

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100 thoughts on “3 Jokes That Make People Instantly Like You

  1. Drugs are a high risk high reward thing.
    The best jokes are when you make a joke about the person and they still laugh.

    Self deprecating jokes are bad for your attractiveness as a man. You should only have like a 10% inclusion of them.

  2. Personally I don't like Ellen because I sense something dark about her, like the positivity is on the surface but she rarely gets to the truth of things when she talks to guests. She has broad appeal because she doesn't fully engage her guests like real people and risk saying anything uncomfortable or controversial. Let me say that I watch her standup specials and love her in other projects (like as the voice of Dory) but it's interesting to me to use Ellen as an example of how to be likable. You're probably not wrong but it only makes sense if you like her.

  3. Ellen is at her core a secure person. That's why her humor is appropriate and pleasing, not annoying. In her personal life, she is kind and caring, and lives for basic pleasure, not excess, or trendy status symbols. (Hello, Paula Poundstone and Madonna, among others, you could learn from Ellen's ways.)

  4. It makes me laugh that Americans need videos to explain sarcastic humour, whereas British people literally come out of the womb cracking self-deprecating jokes

  5. everybody knows this. you are portraying it like it was some scientific abstract. you are rationalizing your lack of social experience here and it's just an entire cringe fest.

  6. Your videos are always always bring insights far beyond what most of these self help gurus are bringing to the conversation. You're always fresh and innovative. Very impressed.

  7. Most Aussie humour is self deprecating already. We like to poke fun at ourselves, and others, but all in good fun.

  8. Romantic relationships breakdown? I'm thinking interactions good and bad… Unless you've already done something like this 🙂

  9. thank you for this advice, i know dance in to work every morning whilst trying to catch a mint in my mouth

  10. Can you do a video about repairing broken relationships with co-workers, family, friends? How can a person get back to being more likable if they’ve made mistakes in the past? Said something in confidence that a person they’ve trusted by mistake has repeated or perhaps that someone has repeated something they’ve said out of context. Thanks for all you do I get a lot out of your videos.

  11. Opoios einai petiximenos einai guy or an einai gynaika einai lesvo kata tous kanones ths germany.’ H alhtheia einai oti den mporw na einai h bruna oute h ola vre germany.’ 👄👄👄👄👄🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖

  12. Joseph Gordon Levitt…
    Even the peacocks in my neighborhood are laughing right now.

  13. thx for tips. Please stop saying "rRule of Thumb:" its referring to legally hitting women with a belt smaller than the length of a man's thumb. ;/

  14. I disagree with her politics and and some of her other social beliefs but I still admire her. I dont think it's about her humor, it is more of her demeanor, she is friendly. I think if we knew each other we can still get along, she doesnt seem to judge and looks for what is really important in relationships.

  15. I'm here for learned a lesson and
    I learnt Don't click on that video who say's " hey do you want be a comedian "

  16. if this man is comedian I laugh at he's only one thing " stupidity "
    do you know brow how gravity works ? haha gotcha you never went to school

  17. first my friends used to laugh at my jokes but I apply this video in my real life now no one laugh at my jokes why am I here for just suffering God give all mentality my jokes isn't that bad watch me
    " you know why cow aren't drink milks ? think it , think again naa you aren't too much thinking just go into deep OK I'll tell you because she producing by herself " no not funny sorry I'm just joking
    God I won't try again

  18. The tip about making a joke about something that the person won’t be insecure about is very helpful.

  19. I had the point made to me once that every joke is at someone's expense, even if it's everyone, or just themselves.

  20. there's an extroverts-dominated world for you. trust me playfulness is the #1 stress in an introvert's life

  21. Ellen is the only female comedian I find funny.
    Recently I found she's a lesbian so, even she's got some of those male instincts. 😬

  22. Weird because I actually hate Ellen, and I don’t care about the opinion of anyone who actually likes her.

  23. If you don't know who Malala Yousafzai is… you should not be out on your own. Btw, if you need this humor explaining in such detail you might not be very savvy.

  24. 3 Things


    Poking Fun
    Amy didn’t go to college though she’s successful (did not change identity)

    Ego Boosters
    -Comment on how successful they are. “So selfish.”

    Silly Surprise Proposterous
    -Love to have fun start in a playful mood.(ritual) (expressive) (actual games into conversations)

    4 emotions to hit in order to make a good first expression

  25. how can you have a healthy relationship with anyone when all you care about is to make them like you?That can lead to depression. We should be focusing on how WE can like others not how others can like us.

  26. I haven’t talked of a joke for 5 years because father always told me if you had nothing nice to say don’t say it

  27. Taking advice on "how to make people like you" from a dyke is like asking a person born blind to describe color…….

  28. Lets pit all the comedians of the world into a small island off the coast Norway and have them kill each other until one remains the decide the most funniest of them

  29. I'm seriously not interested in your channel, no offense, I don't have any charisma but I don't want any, if people don't like me because I can't replicate the behavior of celebritie; that's their loss. Please stop recommending yourself to me.

  30. I don't find Ellen DeGeneres all that likeable. I'll concede she's often funny and playful, but she's creepy. She's supposedly a dyke, but she's always got men on her show, men without shirts, physically buff men without shirts, physically buff men without shirts that she makes googly eyes at and treats as sexual objects. Frankly she's more convincing as a crossdresser than a dyke.

  31. Thankyou so much for your video! I'm spear heading a planetary invasion and need to lay low for a while for analysis on earth's defenses. So this helps me fit in

  32. This is basically a 10 minute video broken down version of the old age advice that is: …Simply be yourself. And joke with others positively instead of negatively

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