Full Episode: Episode 1 | Love Goals | Oprah Winfrey Network


When it comes to love, falling
in love isn’t the problem. For most of us, it’s
staying together that feels like “Mission Impossible.” As a therapist, I truly believe
that any two people that want to be together can realize
their love goals if they’re willing to do the work. Over the next several
weeks, the couples that you’re about
to meet will embark on one of the most intense
journeys of their lifetimes. I just wish that he
would show up and be real. Why are you
worried about that? Like, we’re here for us. I’ve been through things with
him in the past where he snaps. SPIRIT: They’re all in
different stages of conflict. Whether they’re here to break
down barriers before they walk down the aisle– What we haven’t dealt
with is that fiery thing, the verbal attacks. Because I treasure him. I don’t want to hurt him. That is what it means to be in
conflict but not in opposition to each other. SPIRIT: –to set
healthy boundaries and commit to each other– We have a womanizer
in the house. [SIGHS] You’re thinking
about every woman when you only need to
be thinking about one. SPIRIT: –to stop
allowing distractions to tear their families apart. That [BLEEP] this
[BLEEP] [INAUDIBLE] and you’re OK with it
because they roll your blunt and they wipe your ass. Hey, but when you have
it, they ain’t leaching. When your partner
tells you how they feel, you don’t get to decide
that they don’t have the right to feel that way. SPIRIT: Or for some
couples, to simply stop their constant fighting. You want– you
want to act like– I didn’t say you
came for my money. Yes, you did! I be wanting to like, explode. I’m here to communicate,
to find better communication. Soon as it goes
to her, he’s this. He’s that. We see each other
as the problem and we start to
attack one another instead of attacking the
problems with solutions. SPIRIT: Relationship
problems are just symptoms of
each individual’s underlying pain and trauma. Thank you. [SOBS] If you never let him
see this side of you, how does he know that it exists? My father wasn’t always there. I never meant to
help you at all. SPIRIT: Because the truth is,
only two healthy people can create a healthy relationship. Yeah, let’s go home together. Let’s do it. But I need you to
show me how to love. All right! [LAUGHS] SPIRIT: I’m going to
push them to their limits in order to learn
what is stopping them from having the love
they so desperately desire. – I’m coming, Q.
– Tell her you’re right here. I’m right here. SPIRIT: It is my job to help
them achieve their love goals. [UPBEAT MUSIC] Are you nervous? A little bit. Are you ready for this? I think so. Do you feel like
this– this counseling is going to help you see
things from your standpoint? As far as us, like, what
are some of the things you want to talk about? I just think we keep
engulfing ourselves with people that don’t
understand the dynamics of a healthy relationship. In the six years plus
that we’ve been together, maybe we haven’t
addressed some things. When we’re around each other,
we don’t speak to each other. So it’ll actually be good
to be around other people. I’ve never been more nervous
than performing in front of 60,000 to meet
four other couples in the mansion for two weeks. I’m Dwayne Bowe,
former wide receiver for the Kansas City Chiefs. 10 years in the NFL
[INAUDIBLE] and I retired. I’ve got the music
now so I’m a rapper. I’m here with the love
of my life, Theresa Bowe, the mother of my
two beautiful kids. She’s smart, independent. She doesn’t take
no for an answer. I’m excited about that
you took the time to even consider doing counseling. I’m a real estate
professional in South Florida. When I first met
Dwayne in Kansas City, I was hoping to sell him a home. And, you know, just one
thing led to the next. We had a great friendship
between the two of us. It turned into a romance. And it turned into a child. And then it turned
into a marriage. And then it turned
into another child. And here we are today. Well, meeting this amazing
guy during his NFL tenure, he was always the guy that
had these “friends” that he feels he has to “take care of.” So post-career, I’m
thinking we were finally going to have a normal life. And instead of him taking
the break that I thought he was going to take,
he went ahead embarked upon his first love,
which was music. And with that came
even more guys. They have to understand
that that’s our home. It is not a hangout
for the guys. I went to elementary school,
middle school, high school, college, then I
played in the NFL with the same people
from the hood. Theresa don’t really understand. When you the one who
made it out the hood, you have to bring
your homies with you. So I can’t turn my
back on my boys. But she just don’t understand. OK, so you got married. You had children. Why don’t you
encourage them to do that so they can have something
else to do besides you? They all have
bad relationships so they want to come see how
a good relationship starts and goes. They had bad relationships
because they’re in a relationship with you. How could you have a
healthy relationship when you always at your guy house? 20– when you wake up,
then you go to– what real woman wants that. You got your guy house to
learn what to do and not do. It’s not 24/7. It’s 14/7. [LAUGHS] So it
makes a difference? Yeah. A family environment
is important. It cannot be men amongst your
wife and kids all day long. And, you know, from football,
that’s all he knows is how to entertain men all day long. And I’ve watched him
become more focused on hanging with
the guys that, you know, he’s lost sight of
who he is at home with me, the children. So I’m like, you put
a ring on my finger. If these guys are more
important than me, you need to take this
ring off my finger and you need to
put it on theirs. [LAUGHS] I’m
their relationship. You are. I mean, they eat with you. They fall asleep next
to you on the couch. They laugh when you laugh. I mean, they’re in a
relationship with you. We have to come up
with the solution. I don’t want to chase
something and lose something important at the same
time, so if I don’t find the balance between
work and my family, I think I might lose my family. And there’s nothing more
important than my wife and kids at this point. There’s no turning back. [UPBEAT MUSIC] We don’t get along
with each other. We get along when
we– when we’re not in front of each other. Am I able to speak? Just let me know.
Because– You just said I want to talk.
And so you want me to talk? You don’t want me to talk.
Which one is it? No, I didn’t say that. You just yelled
at me at the hotel because I just asked you
to give me a little space because I was getting dressed. Listen, listen,
listen, listen. And then you yelled at me
and you slammed the door. Listen, listen,
listen, listen. So who– you like to
paint me as a bad person. But I’m the nicest person. I haven’t painted you nothing. You have an ego issue. I’m Benzino and I’m from
Boston, Massachusetts. I’m a rapper-producer. I had a solo career. My biggest song was
“Rock the Party.” You may know me from
“Source” magazine. Came up with the idea
for “Hip Hop Weekly,” created that magazine. Been on a lot of
reality TV shows. And I’m here with the mother
of my child, Althea Heart. And came on “#LoveGoals”
to accomplish one thing, which is stop fighting. You have no respect for
me and you’re jealous. Of course I’m sure
it’s been documented on many other
reality shows that me and Althea have a toxic
relationship, unfortunately. You’re not relevant
to me anymore. Like I said, I’ve
went on with my life. OK? I’m glad she– I’m glad she let that
out because I’m– I’m here to try to get
help for myself, so– You probably remember
me from “Love & Hip Hop.” I am a singer, actress,
and reality star. I was signed at Def Jam. I’ve been in magazines. I was a video vixen. I’ve done a lot. You want to fight over
nothing, all right? While I take care of your son,
while your son lives good. – He’s you son–
– Yeah, he’s my son– –all right?
OK. – –that I take care of alone.
– No, you don’t. – You’re a babysitter.
– No, you don’t. SPIRIT: You’re a babysitter.
– It’s all right, Althea. Say what you want. We have a son together. His name is Zino and
he’s four years old. We have been together off
and on for seven years. When we started dating, he
was on “Love & Hip Hop.” He contacted me on
Twitter and that’s how I got on “Love & Hip Hop.” I felt like because he
was an older guy that he was ready to settle down. So when I got
pregnant, I just was overjoyed because I figured that
we was going to get married. And he did propose to me. But we’re not together
anymore because we’re always yelling at each other. I would love to be with her
and love to be with my family. But when a child grows up in
a household where parents are always fighting and arguing, it
just kind of sticks with them for the rest of his life. So, you know, he
doesn’t deserve that. ALTHEA HEART: I got
more money than you. All right.
You ain’t got– Althea– – I got more money than you.
– –how much money? How much money you got?
– I got more money than you. – How much money you got?
– Just tell the truth. I made more money than you. You think– you think
money is a big thing? No, but it takes
care of your kid. Have you had
more money than me? – I always did.
– Have you had it? ALTHEA HEART: Since
I met you, yeah. BENZINO: No, you didn’t. Don’t diminish what
I’ve done for you. Don’t diminish that I didn’t
do these things for you to try to make the world think
that you’re the breadwinner and you had the money. No, you would spend no money. You know what I’m saying?
Like, come on. It’s not like you been in
Atlanta, trying to do– yeah, you did real estate. But you been trying to get on
it since you’ve been in Atlanta. You casted for “Love
& Hip Hop” twice. You admitted to sleeping
with two guys in an email, just to get on “Love & Hip Hop.”
What are you talking about? Don’t sit here,
trying to make me look like I’m some busted [BLEEP]. [INAUDIBLE] busy now. How? He doesn’t give
me the credit that I have been in the industry
before I got with him. He doesn’t understand
how degrading it is to do that to me. And I met you in a little
shitty ass apartment. – That owned cash.
– Let me shut up, man. That I every– Shut the [BLEEP] up, man. I’m not doing this no more. Shut this off.
Shut this off. Shut this off.
Shut this off. Shut it off. Shut it off. I’m not doing it no more. [BLEEP] you.
[BLEEP] you. No, you, you ain’t going
to make my life bad. Like, for real, you’re
the worst person I’ve ever met in my life. For real, you’re a
disgusting, nasty human being. – OK.
– And I hate your guts. And I hate you, all right? God bless you. Yeah, [BLEEP] you.
I hate you. God bless.
[LAUGHS] You know, Althea’s pushing me
and pushing me and pushing me, and then, you know,
unfortunately, I’m saying stuff that I don’t even mean. And I’m trying to hold it in. I’m trying to be cool. And it’s not working.
– I don’t hate you. BENZINO: Die.
I hate you. You hope I die?
BENZINO: Die. Die, you [BLEEP].
– [LAUGHS] BENZINO: Die. I hate you. You hope that your
son’s mother dies? BENZINO: I wish on you, die. This man just told
me he wants me to die. And, yes, I am an
adult. When someone is attacking me and yelling at
me, I need to not attack back. But he is always provoking me. OK. You brought me on TV to fight. I wasn’t– man, let
me out this [BLEEP].. I’m not– I’m not doing it. He jumps out the car. He’s saying, F you, F you. He’s cursing me out. My biggest concern
right now is my son. I don’t want my
son to be affected from what he sees going on
with his mother and his father. BENZINO: And I won’t even– I’m not here for this, Vince. I can’t do it. She already had me blowing
up and saying [BLEEP] that I didn’t want to say.
It’s the first day. I don’t– come on, man. Said a lot of evil, nasty
[BLEEP] me be a broke. She got more money than me. I don’t take care of Zino. Like, come on, man. This is [BLEEP] up. I should never did
this [BLEEP],, man. I just think that Althea
knows how to push my buttons. You know, I didn’t
come here for that. I don’t see how I can
get help when Althea just keeps throwing darts at me. I’m leaving, yo. I’m not doing this with her. No way. SPIRIT: Coming up, two
more couples arrive. My name is Deidra Roper. I’m the legendary
DJ Spinderella. – It’s game time.
– Are you ready? I’m Sundy Carter. We have a womanizer
in the house. [SIGHS] SPIRIT: They say
in group therapy that the sickest
person shows up first. Like, I’m tired
of defending myself. My heart be hurting, yo. SPIRIT: And I’ve
already got my work cut out for me with my new clients. Stop talking about me
to these people like that. Shut the [BLEEP] up. I’m going to do what the
[BLEEP] I want to do. You spend all this time
maybe blaming the other person. But they can not touch a
button that does not exist. But it’s only day one. And their difficult
journey is just beginning. I’m glad I’m letting it
out because, believe me, you couldn’t walk in my shoes. [DRAMATIC MUSIC] This is [BLEEP] up. I should have never
did this, man. What am I going to do, yo? Things are already getting
off to the wrong foot. And I feel like it’s just
time to go at this point. But, at the same time, it’s
not just about us anymore. It’s about our son. I’ve got to get back in
the car with her, man. And the risk is
that Zino is going to have two toxic parents going
at each other all the time. So Althea and I have to figure
this out for Zino’s sake. [DRAMATIC MUSIC] DEE DEE ROPER: Oh,
I guess we’re here. My name is Deidra Roper. I’m either called Dee Dee or
the legendary DJ Spinderella formerly of Salt-N-Pepa. My fiancee is Q. All right. Everybody calls me Q, or
Comedian Q. I’m a stand up comic and comedy show producer. Hi.
Hello. Hey.
How y’all doing? – How are you?
– Hi. Q, Dee Dee. Hi. We walk in because they–
you know, I think most of them know who Spinderella was. And, you know, I look
like her handler, I guess. We’re, uh, we’re engaged. ALTHEA HEART: OK. We’re getting
married next May. We’ve been together
for six years. And he popped the
question a few months ago. And now we’re
planning a wedding. She’s, um, a
little controlling. I will say that. She’s got to– she’s
got to kind of know what’s– what’s happening. Like, I– I proposed to her. And she wanted to know when I
was going to propose to her. I’m like, [BLEEP]. I’ve got to–
that’s the surprise. She hates surprises. We’re getting
married next year. And I think the challenges
is more with me, personally. I have some things
going on with me. And him having to deal
with that with me. [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Coming from that situation with
my group was just really hard. Because the relationship
went sour after so long. So trying to
process all of that. It really bothers her,
more than she probably lets– lets on. It upsets her. I think she is really hurt
by the whole situation. In a relationship, you
kind of have to give. And I need work on that part. Right. When I feel something hurtful,
I shut down and it’s not good. But, you know, I feel like this
is going to open up, you know, some things that we
probably need to face before we walk down the aisle. As a man, you– you kind of–
you know, you want to feel like you can fix everything, right? So her not opening up
to me with that stuff, it can make you feel useless. So the consequences of us not
communicating could, you know, eventually break us up. This is about to be real. And it’s good.
It’s needed. Because I think a
lot of times when you listen to other people
problems, they kind of either help you. You could be like, oh, my
relationship is not that. – Right.
– [LAUGHS] Right. We bugging over nothing. [LAUGHTER]
THERESA BOWE: See, I’m rooting– I’m rooting for these two,
whether they know it or not. OK, so who– who– So you said two. I don’t– I don’t know
if he invisible, wait. [LAUGHTER]
– Where he at? DWAYNE BOWE: Yeah,
he– he took a little– THERESA BOWE: He
went to the bathroom. He took a lunch break. OK. [LAUGHTER] DWAYNE BOWE: Yeah. Althea was sitting by herself. So I don’t know if she was
with a ghost, or Casper. I don’t know who the hell
she came with, the couch. How you all doing? Hi, Benzino. What’s up, Spin?
How you doing? – How are you?
– How are you? Fine.
– I’m like, oh, my god. That’s Benzino. I know him, you know? I know him from his music. I remember playing his music. But when I see Benzino
and Althea, the I mean, I literally can
feel the tension. And you two are a couple? We have a kid together. So that’s why you’re
sitting so far apart? [LAUGHS] Benzino, how you feeling? Uh–
DEE DEE ROPER: You all right? Yeah, I’m cool. I’m just– [CLEARS THROAT]
you know, sometimes when– Are you figuring it out? –because it’s best
not to say nothing. Because if you can’t
come to a common ground and then comes the
humiliation and the, you know, so it’s just
best just to be quiet. But you don’t think that
you humiliate me when you talk about all the guys I was with
and, I mean, you put me down and say I’m a gold digger. I mean, that’s like
your putting me down. As your son’s mother– OK. You want to portray this
image like I’m a gold digger. Like I came after you for money. Portray what? You’re a fraud. The first thing I noticed
with Benzino and Althea is they not getting along. Mm mm. First little blow up,
I looked at my girl. I said, girl, we
going to make it. [LAUGHS] We got that. We going to be all right.
– Benzino, stop. You was kicking me out,
calling police on me. I– I–
– Right. I was locked up twice– I never stayed there
more than a week twice. –dealing with you. Benzino and Althea
throwing darts at each other, man, it’s like a– it’s a boxing match. I just want them to
get their relationship intact for the son, at least. He just told– he
just said in the car that he wished I was dead. Damn. I’m not going to sit
here and argue with you. Didn’t you say that
you wanted me to die. I don’t want–
yeah, I said it. All right.
OK. I said that. Give me love and stop
yelling at me all the time. How about that? Jeez. Like, please. [SIGHS] I need
one of them drinks. [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] – It’s game time.
– Are you ready? Let’s go. It’s game I’m Sundy Carter. I am an actress. I’m a TV personality. You may know me from
“Basketball Wives.” And I’m here with
Breyon Williams. I’ve been through marriage
boot camp with my ex-husband. And then we went
through a divorce. And so then after
that is when I entered the relationship with Breyon. Let’s go. I’m an athlete. I play college football at
the University of Idaho. And I’m a financial
professional now. Sundy and I, we met
at a restaurant. And she was sitting at the bar. She got up. She dropped a napkin on purpose. She’s bent over and,
you know, from there, I was just like, wow. When we hang out
with each other, like, I forget about everything
else that’s going on around me. It’s just her. You still– you the star,
Z. You know how they do. SUNDY CARTER: Oh, Jesus Christ. Ai yi yi yi yi yi yi. What’s up with you, folks. So when I walk
in, I see Benzino, who I’ve known for years. BENZINO: What up, Sundy?
– How you doing? All right. Is everything good? And that gives me a flashback
of a gang of negativity. Here we go again. Because he lied on
me and said that we had sex, which we never did. And I feel like he used
that to hurt Althea. So I just hope that we just
buried everything in the past and this could just
be a new chapter. Hey, Althea. Well, good for you. You moved on.
Hi. [LAUGHS]
– I did. What’s up?
How are you? – Hi.
– I see you didn’t. – Oh, I moved on, honey.
– Oh, did you? I moved on. We’re here for Zino. SUNDY CARTER: Oh. Seeing Sundy walk
in, I’m actually happy to see her because
it’s someone that I know. When I think of
Sundy, I don’t think about Benzino because I don’t
know whether they had sex or not.
I don’t know. Are y’all dating? Married? Engaged? – We’re dating.
– Right. Yeah. Yeah. DEE DEE ROPER: How long?
BREYON WILLIAMS: Eight months. Like eight months. Yeah, we fresh. Yeah. But, wait a minute. Eight months, and
you’re here for therapy? Is there anything wrong? Yeah, a little bit.
DEE DEE ROPER: OK. Because we have
a womanizer in the. House [SIGHS] The core of the
issue with Breyon and I is that he just
has a really large appetite for beautiful women. He’s honest about it though. It definitely feels good to
have the women reach out to me like they do. [LAUGHS] It’s kind of
like people chanting your name in a football game. But sometimes I think I
get too much attention. And I don’t know how to say no. Initially I was OK
with that because I wasn’t really committed to
an exclusive relationship. So we had rules and regulations. And we had boundaries
and stuff like that. And then certain
boundaries got crossed. And it’s like we just didn’t
think that we would be here. But I feel like we fell
in love with each other and it was so unexpected. And when you love someone,
you have to make a choice. So when it comes to the other
women, I’m not cool with it anymore. I’m done. Like, I’m done with
playing the games. And if he’s not willing
to move forward, then that is the ultimate
deal breaker for me. Well, he always says
like we’re either going to be really good friends
or we want to be lovers. So like, let’s see. Let’s see. SPIRIT: I’m happy to see how
open and receptive everyone is so far because that’s exactly
the energy they’re going to need as they
embrace this process and try to achieve
their love goals. It’s time to meet the clients
and dive into the work. Everybody so serious. All right. Hi. SPIRIT: Hello, everybody. And welcome to “#LoveGoals.” My name is Spirit. I’m a licensed
professional counselor. And I am here to help you. I plan on getting to know
each and every one of you. And so what I want
you to know is– well, first, if I could
sneak those sunglasses off, if that’s OK. I knew you’s
going to say that. He was like, you
want to see inside. That’s right.
That’s right. I want to see. [LAUGHS] Right. I’m really excited to
get to know you as people. I’m not interested
in your credentials. I’m not interested in
what it is that you do or where you’ve come
from except for how that relates to your stories. When I heard the
name Spirit, I thought it was a little gimmicky. But, you know, seeing it
was a sister, I was like OK. She’s, you know, got
college educated. Right on probably some
type of [INAUDIBLE].. She looked like she knows
what she’s talking about. I want you to know that
I’m not just professionally invested but also personally. I’m a married mother of
seven and so there is nothing that we can’t talk about as
it relates to parenting, as it relates to sex, as it
relates to blended families, co-parenting you name it. Not only have I seen
it in practice but I probably have lived it myself. Over the next couple of weeks,
what you’re going to have is a series of challenges. You’re going to have a
series of couples sessions, a series of one-on-one sessions
that give me the opportunity to get to know you
as individuals, get to know you as a
couple, and to help figure out what your goals are. Dwayne and I really
need Spirit’s help with helping him
understand that it’s not his responsibility to
take care of the friends that he grew up with. So I feel like she is the
answer I’ve been looking for. You have each come
here as individuals hoping to get something. Get it. The goal here is for you
to get real with yourself and with your relationship. So you can look at where
you are, how you got here, where it is
you want to go, and how to connect those dots. You might call this the
calm before the storm because there’s plenty
of real work to be done. But, for now, I’m sending
them to get settled into their new home
for the next few weeks before the real work begins. I’ve got one
more room to show. You guys ready? You know what I hate? I hate having to
always explain myself. Oh, my god.
Man, this– ALTHEA HEART: It’s like, dude. I don’t even be around you. No, no, no. Come here for a second. You spend all this time
maybe blaming the other person. But they cannot touch a
button that does not exist. [UPBEAT MUSIC] As we rolled up, I look at
the house and I’m like, damn! That’s where the
money live, baby. The house is bad ass. If we– if we stay together,
can we have the house? [LAUGHTER]
– Right? I wouldn’t worry about that. Hello, everybody and
welcome to the house. My name is Kiaundra. I’m Stevon and we’re
your resident counselors. While you’re
here at the house, we’re going to be helping
Spirit with your therapy. So we’ll be here all the time. And you need anything,
just come look for us. And we’re going to go in. You guys can take a
look around the house. And we’ll meet you in
the living room to give you your room assignments. THERESA BOWE: This is beautiful. My kind of modern. [INAUDIBLE] Baby, I don’t mind cooking. This how you treat a retreat. If this don’t make
you happy, and romantic, and feel good
inside, nothing will. [LAUGHS] You know? Say momma, I made it! Momma, we made it! [LAUGHTER] Hello, hello, hello. So I am here to take
Bowe and Theresa. I am so excited to see
where you guys are putting us. [LAUGHS] So here is your room. Check it out. Make sure you like
it and enjoying it. I’m going to try it out. Break it up. Breyon.
Yes, sir. We are ready to take
you to your room, sir. Hey, Z. Don’t cheat. I’ll be right back. BENZINO: You saved them. This is where
you guys will be. Enjoy.
– OK. Thank you. [INAUDIBLE] So y’all are getting
ready to get married? – Yeah.
– Yeah? Yeah, next year. – Next year.
– Yeah. You excited? It’s your first time?
– Very. – It’s your first time?
– [INAUDIBLE] – First time?
– I’ve been married before. – Yeah?
– Mm-hmm. When did you
know he’s the one? DEE DEE ROPER: You know
he’s a comedian, so he’s– he keeps it light. He can turn tragedy
into fun somehow like– BENZINO: And you need to laugh.
– And I needed that. BENZINO: Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
– I need that. BENZINO: That’s dope. DEE DEE ROPER: When you
ain’t crying, you laughing. Yeah.
I ain’t never been married, man. – No?
– I want to do it. I just would love to do it.
That’s what I’m saying. I thought it was
going to be with her, but one day, I’m going to get–
I want to– DEE DEE ROPER: You know
you can be happy, right? BENZINO (VOICEOVER): I remember
when I proposed to Althea, and it was a beautiful moment. I mean, it’s not like
I don’t love Althea. My level of love has changed
obviously because of all the stuff that’s
going on, but it’s not like that level can’t shoot
right back up if I understand that she’s willing also. And so far, she’s showing
me that she’s not willing. I’m still trying
to heal and figure things out and everything. You know, I hope maybe I could– maybe this could
heal it a little bit. We have to fix ourself first. Come on. Here. You rack them. I know this is going
to be my bed right here. Watch.
I already know. I already know. We got one more room to show. You guys ready? [MUSIC PLAYING] So here is you guys’ room. Check it out and enjoy. Hmm. BENZINO: If she says
we need separate rooms, then I can sleep on a
couch, so it’s whatever. SPIRIT (VOICEOVER): When we
invited Benzino and Althea to this retreat, we were
under the impression that their relationship
was in a better place, so we had planned
to have them share one bed like the other couples. But considering
their current state, I’ll be making sure that this
couple sleeps in separate rooms so that everyone is comfortable. How’s your spot? ALTHEA HEART: I like my room. SUNDY CARTER: So
are you– did you– I like my bed.
SUNDY CARTER: Wait. So are you guys separate?
Are you– He said he’ll
sleep on the couch. SUNDY CARTER: So are you
guys in the same room? ALTHEA HEART: Girl. SUNDY CARTER: Are you in
the same room, Althea? No. I’m not comfortable being in
the same room with Benzino because this man just told
me he wants me to die. To be in a bed, I can’t
play them games anymore. BREYON WILLIAMS: Z, how
you like your spot, man? I mean, she don’t
want me in there, so– or we can’t be, so I just
want to get this over with. SUNDY CARTER: Hey,
let me ask you. Benzino, can y’all
just like for– ALTHEA HEART: He said
he wishes me I was– I would die.
SUNDY CARTER: All right. OK. For the sake of just getting
along for ‘Zino because that’s why you guys are here.
Correct? I’m asking both of y’all. BENZINO: Well, when
we went upstairs, the first thing she
said was, did you know we have to get separate rooms? That’s what she said. So you have to address
that with her, please. I hate having to
always explain myself. Like– Oh my god, man. This– I don’t even
want to be around. SUNDY CARTER: For real.
Benzino, no. Listen. BENZINO: No, man, because let
her go and act for the cameras. SUNDY CARTER: OK.
Listen. I’m not with
this dumb [BLEEP].. No.
No. No.
Come here for a second. No.
No. No.
No. Here we go. And I got to come
run after you again. It’s like, Benzino. Well, I love you, baby.
SUNDY CARTER: Aw. [LAUGHS] At least there’s
love in this room. There’s love here. SUNDY CARTER: Oh, man. I want to go home. Go ask the world.
– I don’t care about the world! You made yourself
look like a gold digger. I don’t care about the world!
SPIRIT: Right. Right. I care about the person
that I had a kid by. BENZINO: Right. I loved you! Benzino, please. I shouldn’t even came. I’m telling you, man. [MUSIC PLAYING] Stripes? Yes, sir. If you ask me do I
love him, I love him. Right. But I’m not in love. I really think that he thinks
there’s still hope though. We both deserve
real love, intimacy. SUNDY CARTER: Yeah. And I had that
feeling when we first– I mean, he proposed
to me and all that, but then it was like– I feel like he doesn’t
know how to love. We’ve been together
for seven years. And years went by that
we ain’t even have sex. Yeah. But that one time that we was
intimate, right after that he was calling me a
bitch and a hoe. SUNDY CARTER: Wait, what? Hold. Intimate, what? Just recently? So I came to pick up ‘Zino. I was actually on a date
that night, and I was horny. SUNDY CARTER: OK. ALTHEA HEART: And it didn’t
happen with who I was on a date with. I haven’t been with
nobody for a long time. So it happened. And I’m not going
to lay in the bed with a man who just
say he wished my death. Here’s my thing with Althea. Well, why haven’t you
moved on in seven years? If Benzino is such a
bad guy, why is Benzino still even in your equation? Why haven’t you let go? Why are you still
in the relationship? Right, why are you
still fighting for it? Because I have a son
by him and because I haven’t– because all the
drama, everybody feels like we’re still together. That’s why moving forward
I’m putting my foot down. I’m not letting him– like I’m not sleeping in
the bed with him no more. I’m not. DEE DEE ROPER: The fact that
you got to keep saying it. Like I’m tired of
defending myself. SUNDY CARTER: Yeah. My heart be hurting, yo. I’m not going to be
the angry black girl. That’s real. You want me to be a gold
digger for your money, but I loved you. I loved you. And that’s what it is. That’s some real [BLEEP]. Thank you. But I think now that
everyone knows the situation or whatever.
So now knowing, it’s like– It’s not fair. THERESA BOWE: –we would never,
yeah, overstep our boundaries. Like, let me have
a little attitude. I got a right to have a little
attitude for the bullshit I put up with you. Then you want to yell at me
for having a little attitude? That will make somebody snap. I’ve been locked up twice. Like, he has sent me
to the crazy house. Phew. That’s big. You ain’t crazy. DEE DEE ROPER (VOICEOVER):
You know, looking at Althea, I just feel for her. I feel like she’s just in
a repetitive situation. There’s repetitive pain. This is just a cycle,
and it won’t end. ALTHEA HEART: And
it’s not fair to me because I take care
of my son by myself. So I sent him an email because
I did need something for my son. And you know what he did? He took the email and
threw me under the bus. What was in the
email that was so bad? I need my child support. OK. So that’s not bad because if
that’s a fact, that’s a fact. And if you keep
bullying me, I’m going to get lawyers involved. DEE DEE ROPER: Is
that what you said? Yeah. But the truth is he
don’t take care of me. He take care of
the son though. No.
No. BENZINO: Man, I
know the whole show is not going to be about me.
ALTHEA HEART: No. BENZINO: Like, can we– ALTHEA HEART: No. Like, come on, man. Like, everything she’s
saying is bull [BLEEP].. But I’m telling the truth. Stop bashing me
to these people. Please. Stop talking about me
to these people like that. Shut the [BLEEP] up. I’m going to do what the
[BLEEP] I want to do. BENZINO: All right. When I hear Althea saying
these falsehoods about me, here we go. When she’s mad, these are
the things that she does. Every time we get
together, she just starts talking
about how bad I am and try to put in these people’s
heads that I’m a bad person. It kind of brings
out the worst in me. How can you sit here and
talk about some [BLEEP] child support when I did gave you
thousands of dollars, not just thousands out of my
pocket but thousands of dollars of opportunity? It’s bull [BLEEP]. You do bull [BLEEP],,
and it’s sad. He makes everything
about money. Man, please.
Man. Man, Althea.
– If I’m mad– BENZINO: Stop talking. Althea, stop it, man. Stop trying to put– if you’re
going to [INAUDIBLE] you the [BLEEP] you are, be who you are.
ALTHEA HEART: And what am I? Be who you are.
ALTHEA HEART: And what am I? You can’t even hide
what you are, man. ALTHEA HEART: What am I?
– The world knows what you are. ALTHEA HEART: What am I?
You tell me. BENZINO: Why?
Man, come on. You tell me. I’m not going to
do that with you. ALTHEA HEART: You tell me. Being in the
house, I’m looking to work on Sunday
and I’s relationship, but I’m seeing
Benzino and Althea having at each other’s throats. Everybody was kind
of a little bit shocked not knowing should I
help, or should I not help? It was a uncomfortable
situation. All you want to do is– Is what? –make me out to be a
girl who is a gold digger. And– BENZINO: I’m not going to
keep getting with that. –I’m not going
to let you do that. Althea, you did
that to yourself. ALTHEA HEART: No, you did that. I did that? I didn’t come for
you for your money. You want to act like– BENZINO: I didn’t say
you came for my money. – Yes, you did.
– Althea. Althea. ALTHEA HEART: You can’t act
like I’m only with you because I thought you had money. You made yourself look
like the gold digger on “Love and Hip Hop.”
– No, I didn’t. BENZINO: Oh, you didn’t?
– No, I didn’t. BENZINO: Well, then
go ask the world then. ALTHEA HEART: Benzino–
– Go ask the world. ALTHEA HEART: I don’t
care about the world. You made yourself look
like the gold digger. ALTHEA HEART: I don’t
care about the world! BENZINO: Right.
Right. I care about the person
that I had a kid by. – You never loved me.
– I’m sorry. Then why I had a kid by you?
BENZINO: You never loved me. Then why I had a kid by you?
BENZINO: I don’t know. I don’t know why. I loved you! Benzino, please. BENZINO: The way you
hate me is like an enemy. It’s like a grimy street
[BLEEP] enemy and it’s– but I don’t get why. I didn’t do shit
to you like that. What the [BLEEP] is
the matter with you? Why? What is it? What is it? Man, I ain’t never did
nothing for no girl I was with what I did for you. But I gave you everything I had. THERESA BOWE (VOICEOVER):
I see a lot of hurt. I see a lot of anger. I see a lot of
years of betrayal. It’s just a combative situation,
and it’s pretty sad to watch. And it’s a place that
I definitely never want to be with my husband. BENZINO: Tired of this [BLEEP]. Guys, we’re in
the right place. BENZINO: I’m tired
of this [BLEEP].. I believe that we– are we not? I shouldn’t have
came here anyway. THERESA BOWE: Come on, Benzino.
BENZINO: [BLEEP]. THERESA BOWE: It’s
going to be OK. DWAYNE BOWE: It’s cool.
Yeah. [INAUDIBLE], bro.
BENZINO: This is bull [BLEEP]. THERESA BOWE: It’s
going to be OK. Seriously.
– I shouldn’t have even came. DWAYNE BOWE: It’s going
to be good for all of us. You need it. [BLEEP]. No, she need it. DWAYNE BOWE: No, we need it. She need it. DWAYNE BOWE: We
all need it, bro. [BLEEP].
DWAYNE BOWE: We all need it. ALTHEA HEART (VOICEOVER):
Benzino starts to cry. And I honestly– I want to go
up there, and I want to hug him. But I feel like I’ve been
through so much pain. Like, Althea, how much
longer are you going to keep dealing with this? Enough is enough. BENZINO: I’m glad I’m letting
it out because believe me. It’s good to let it out. You know what I’m saying? It’s good to let it out. You couldn’t walk in my shoes. SPIRIT: Often it’s necessary
to let a conflict play out to understand what’s really
going on within a relationship. But this experience
isn’t about fighting, so when things calm down, it’s
time to address the emotion in the house head on. Have the two of
you gotten to know anybody else’s issues today? Because from what
I’ve seen, the group has already been working on
trying to help the two of you. And it’s been exhausting. Cooler heads have
prevailed in the house, but I can sense the uneasiness
within the group because of the tension between
Benzino and Althea And uncertainty
about what they’ve all gotten themselves into. So I’d like to
address my new clients before things go any further. All right. Good evening, everybody. So how is everybody feeling? So far, so good. So far, so good? I don’t know. I’ve talked to some
of my team today. I’m wondering. I’m curious,
though, about what’s been happening in the
house, particularly Benzino and Althea. Have the two of
you gotten to know anybody else’s issues today? Because from what
I’ve seen, the group has already been working on
trying to help the two of you. Today has been filled with
a roller coaster of emotions from seeing Benzino
and Althea at odds. They’re both actually
amazing people individually. It’s just when they get
together, it turns toxic. Far too often, we get in a
tug of war with each other, and we never get to the point
where we’re in alignment. We see each other
as the problem, and we start to attack one
another instead of attacking the problems with solutions. And we spend all of our time
talking about the same problem over, and over, and over. You guys are probably
were good examples today of talking about the
same problems over and over. I spent hundreds
of thousands on you. You want to portray this
image like I’m a gold digger. You keep acting like I’m
only with you because I thought you had money. You made yourself look
like the gold digger on “Love and Hip Hop.” ALTHEA HEART: No, I didn’t. You spend all this time
maybe blaming the other person, but they cannot touch a
button that does not exist. And so any time you recognize
that your partner is hitting one of your buttons, I
want you to learn more about why that button exists. They didn’t create it. They just go in with the code,
hit that little password, and they know how to
push it every time to get a response from you. But your response
is a reflection of where you are in
your healing process and in your ability
to recognize that they have too been triggered. From the little bit that
we’ve experienced with Spirit already, she’s not playing. But she knows how to get right
to where she needs to go. And I actually
learned a lot so far, and it’s only the beginning. You are going to hear your
partner tell a very different version of your lives. That is because you are two
different people trying to have the same unique experience. You don’t have to argue their
perspective because when somebody tells you, one, that
you’ve hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t. And two, feelings are not facts. They are somebody’s reality. Right. And so I want you to be curious
about your partner’s reality. Right. SPIRIT: Because if you
don’t understand what their perspective is, how
are you ever going to come into alignment with each other? So I want you guys to get
very present in this time together to decide
what you want to do. So that being said,
it’s been a long day. I want you guys
to get some rest. I want you to be refreshed. And tomorrow the
real work begins. OK. [MUSIC PLAYING] Spirit’s on point. She made me realize some stuff
in my situation with Althea and more so myself. And at this point, I’m just
hoping that we can communicate better to try to make this
work and build a life together, but I don’t know if she’s
capable of loving me anymore. And I don’t want to set myself
up for the downfall again. You gave me your word. I’m about to freaking
have a panic attack. Why would anyone
want to be with a man like you that
talks to them like they’re a piece of [BLEEP]?
– Can I please say something? No.
Do you feel good now? No.
No, I don’t. This is how you’re going
to lose your marriage. Either we’re having group
and it’s my damn group, or you can get the hell out. You act like a [BLEEP] pig. Woo! No, I’m not going to stand up. I ain’t your puppet. It’s too freaking much. Don’t be shocked when you
hear me say [BLEEP] you. [APPLAUSE] We actually do
have a fifth couple that is going to be joining us. What? I can’t help you if
you don’t show it to me. Everything. I’m a mess. Tell him, Theresa. If things do not change,
a might as well be alone. He’s been fighting
everybody his whole life, so he fights me. I was working
in a crack house, and my mother came to the door. When things are hard, you
have to say, baby, look at me. Stop looking at them. Three for the Feds. Four for love. L-O-V-E. Come on. I’m trying to put you
on some new [BLEEP].. Love. L-O-V-E. Woo! I love my warrior. I love you. I’ll do anything for you. Every challenge
that you meet in life is simply a problem
in need of a solution. [CHEERING] Yeah, baby! BENZINO: Man, she’s
the real deal, boy. Oh, I feel like I walked out
of some holy water right there. May this be just the
beginning of our love goals.

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58 thoughts on “Full Episode: Episode 1 | Love Goals | Oprah Winfrey Network

  1. This seem like it will be BORRRRRIIIIINNNNGGG! Only real couple I recognize is Benzino and Althea!!!! Harpo, WHOSE THE REST OF THESE PEOPLE!? Can we get a clip introducing them all again 😳👀😂😂😂😂🤷🏽‍♀️!?

  2. Ms. Spirit is 🔥 But ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to U, the professional version of Mona Scott’s Love& Hip-Hop
    “Marriage BootCamp!” 😂😂😂

  3. This is a great show. I'm single but l know that probably I can learn about some of the mistakes that I've made in the past in my own relationships. It's interesting watching their problems in their relationships and everyone has the same purpose is to fix their relationship. I feel Althea is emotionally hurt. She's had to defend herself for the past seven years. Althea is tired l can relate with her. I look forward to the process for healing and the results.

  4. To be honest no one really deserves to be cheated upon and I believe smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 7 years cheating Narcissist husband through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his Text messages, Whats-app, Facebook, Messenger, Kik, Snap-chat, Instagram, Skype, Twitter, Email and Social media chat, i was able to read both his new and deleted messages without touching it. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Texas, USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via Whats-app +1 (724) 330-3252 and you can also text/call him +1 (601) 287-5528. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.

  5. Damn Y'all in the comments be complaining while still watching lol. At least these couples are tryin to get help while getting a coin.

  6. Oprah must be all out of original content/ideas. I'm going to call this program on this channel nothing but WeTv Soul. Where the hell is Iyanla?

  7. Geez, can't Oprah Winfrey find healthy black couples and create a show based on them? I'm so tired of the same theme centered around dysfunction and struggle love!!!!!!🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

  8. Learn a lot just by watching. I have a passion for helping people just like Spirit, I love her. Had to jot down a few points and I definitely will be watching all the episodes.

  9. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️😳🤔 some of these women are so proud to be “reality stars” steupessss
    Althea and that Benzo fellow need not be together, but should be cordial because of the child. They’re toxic, and that poor child!! Their bickering in the presence of the other couples is not a good look.

  10. Seriously i cnt stand althea she doesn't realize when she provokes someone they gonna retaliate and wat she does is laughs likes it's a joke

  11. Bezino and his woman situation is just talking about me and my fiancee. I love him smtimes I doubt it
    Everytime I yearn at him everything he does make me go crazy like don't u ever do things d right way?

  12. I'll have to watch it this weekend. I unfortunately can't watch during the week because of my work schedule. 😭😭😭😭

  13. Althea need to STOP!!! She playing victim. But, she's doing all the bashing. Displaying that behavior I don't feel sorry for her. If she carried herself as a mature woman she wouldn't have gotten such a harsh review.

  14. Sunday is just soooo offf especially around Althea I think she did smash benzino smh and her bf looks wayyy younger than her

  15. Here’s another series to show the world how dysfunctional we are as a people. Oprah show some other people’s dysfunction.

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