Internet Comment Etiquette: “Strange Sports”

comic man make D-Train (_)_)::::::::D~~~~WWWHHHHAAAATTTT???!!!! I’m Erik your host, and you know, there’s a lot of sports enthusiasts out there. Sports clips take up a huge portion of what people watch and share online and for every sport There’s a community of fans to engage with. Now I’m no sports man myself, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever actually won a sport in my life, but that’s why today we’re gonna take a look at some of the other sports. Some of the stranger sports to see if I’ve got what it takes to be a contender. First up, maybe I’d want to be in a slap contest Ooo Ohhh Been practicing this sport a lot with my kids it’s great because they’ll get that college scholarship for the slap team and I get to find Catharsis about my sham of a marriage. And BOOOOOOOOOO- *intro song* Now when I say strange sports, I don’t want you to take that the wrong way here in the Comment Etiquette set We’re all about respect and we would never talk down to somebody just because they have their own reason to get out of the house And try their best to succeed at something I give you my Big Money promise that you will not hear me disparage any sport Just because it’s strange, or Fringe, or- H-hang on. What the fuck is this Aw man come on why couldn’t I found this before I said that whole thing about not being disparaging? *Music from the video* Dude, I want to be so disparaging right now, but I can’t, I gave a Big Money promise Maybe somebody in the comments sections got my back I think it’s safe to assume those boards are the only thing they’ll be fingering OOH! Count it! That’s exactly what I was gonna say They need little shoes on the tips of *their fingers What a fucking embarrassing thing to be good at This is like being bad-ass at clicking your mouse. It’s HeAlThY fOr YoUr FiNgEr (and the winner of the US skateboarding championships, brought to you here by Tech Deck is:) (Danny Taylor, will you somethingsomehtingsomething) Holy shit, that kid won $5,000? Never mind this sport is fucking awesome. All right. I’m gonna hit these kids with some words of support Yo, I keep losing these things inside my dog WTF I got to start tying strings to my finger skateboards. My dad says he’s gonna take the dog away if I don’t stop doing sick Ollie’s into its asshole. My last trick I grinded my skateboard off the edge of a bookshelf and landed a 6-foot Nollie Kickflip, but once again My dog was in the way, so I lost all those points I got a cat – but he’s smarter than he looks and just sprint’s out the room the moment He sees my tech decks I wear a little helmet on the top of my hand in case I take a nasty spill the only protection I really need is from Peta I found my address when I posted some vids of my sick 180 dog slides onto Facebook Hey congrats on your 5k. Whoever won the watching the footage I could tell these kids are doping you got a piss test your finger skaters and ban anyone from Russia if you want to run a respectable competition here folks sincerely scott I use dogs as condoms baio and 2 points are a Little too old for that sport anyway, so let’s see what’s next ferret in your trousers. There’s a pub sport right interesting interesting 2:09 kid eating a dick balloon wtF al does that mean Yep, yep Nope that does appear to be what’s happening here videos posted on YouTube should not advertise this kind of activities, or confer It’s just roll a crotch is fun but this is not real ferret legging in the real sport the trousers are heavily belted top and bottom the Ferrets cannot get out and Start to dig with sharp claws and even bite all right well this sport isn’t for me either and as per etiquette rules if something’s Not for you you got to let everybody know tried to play this game in a pet code the other day and got escorted out by Security they thought I only put one ferret down my pants though So I got out of there with four of those fuckers for free man Ferrets are fucking crazy and after what I Experienced I can only assume that these creatures see the human taint is the biggest natural predator They’ve ripped me up real good and turned me into a human sock puppet. Hey Did you know ferrets are the only species in the animal Kingdom that experience regret in the case of this video? I’m pretty sure all those little fucks regret being born in Scotland The only country where this shit won’t get you a court date then again in America. We have a sport We like to call “is this cop gonna shoot me,” but much like basketball It’s not for white people so yeah, I guess every country’s got its quirks anyway. Thanks petco for this new fur coat I just made go where it’s my next crisis actor meet and greet at Bohemian Grove There’s no ferrets in those woods saw just stuff a wolf down my pants and see how long it takes to eat its way out Through my body, LoL hail, Satan and bank-shot. Well as far as I can see I’m better off without sports Let’s see if this one changes my mind shin kicking championship Vicious world Shin kicking championships Yes, this is a recognized sport were held in Central, England I can only tell I don’t want to play this injuries can occur quite often Ouch I think I’ll stick to tiddlywinks tiddlywinks. That’s not a real thing is it Real piddly wins championships. Oh there were a lot of quite complicated shots trick shots if you like You may be able to maneuver a pile a part of weights where you’ve got lots of weeks on top of each other So that’s all your weights come out from under the pile, but all the enemy won’t stay underneath interesting Yeah That last line was classic someone I work with collects sperm from Chimpanzees, so it’s very nice to be champ winker. Okay nice There’s no way that this video ends with that line someone I work with collect sperm from Chimpanzees So it’s very nice to be a champ winker, and it does it does ends with that load, huh all right tiddlywinks I’d rather be diddling twinks, LOL, but seriously this game looks stupid I’d rather get shoved down a Chimpanzees pants and wriggle around as it desperately tries to claw me out. Well. I’m down there I might even catch some ape jizz in a jar and sell to China for whatever the hell those people do with it anyway this Video really cemented the idea for me that I’ll never visit the UK But I will sell them t-shirts and halftime show Do you live in the land of tiddlywinks and meat pies well now you can order from the soviet Era Comstor We’re about as international as the many armed octopus army of global is trying to deny you the truth Well fight back with your wallet and buy yourself an obama made my frog game with chemicals shirt Or this flat Earth V-neck made with only the softest ferret pelts We’ve also got this cloud people Poster also made with ferrets and here’s a box of wild ferrets you want to save their lives you’ll buy them today otherwise We’re gonna turn them into pills just to recap. I’m adding to the list of sports. I don’t want to do shin kicking Tiddlywinks and jerking off Chimpanzees after that I don’t know how many sports are actually left I don’t know what could possibly fit my lifestyle all I do is sit around drinking Red Bulls and playing video games And there’s no sport for that, or is there cSGo Cloud9 Vs.. Sk inferno map 3 Grand Final ESL one cologne? 2017 whatever the fuck that means and play Or deed the flashes through no ammo, but they know where fallin is and they strike. They’re not sitting back Cloud9. They’re taking fights Absolutely ah that was great what was upon holy shit playing video games is a sport phelps could go he doesn’t even need to wait to go they walk into It if lined up, but it’s done 300 in the Grand 5 5 s to 5 grand finals excuse me so I can be an athlete after all all right let me Jump into whatever game these guys are playing All right now. I’m gonna get friendly with my teammates. Hey guys whats your favorite pokemon all any feet suck my dick Alright, that’s a little unsportsmanlike. I know I’m sorry. Oh, I suck at this game. Oh shit Wonder Friendly fires on oh So that’s gonna deduct some points and so is this And I’ve been removed from the match Yikes. Well. Here’s my post game analysis Yeah, what a pussies How about you ditch this dumb video game shit and watch a romance sport like soccer where if somebody gets too close just seize up? like a fainting goat sprawl onto the ground holding your leg crying watching soccer is like being friends with a 47 year old virgin and that nobody scores unless they do something illegal Maybe soccer is popular around the world because it’s so goddamn annoying to watch that it gives the audience the reason to beat the shit Out of each other in the stands He’s got a brazilian uncle who likes to shoot flares at the players doesn’t matter what team? They’re on I mean
I know soccer is the most boring sport after baseball, but for Christ’s sakes these people make Philadelphia fans look like a live audience on the daily show what was this comment about again V LDR Lol tk and hole-in-one now this next sport is a little more up my alley sex competition Oh, they just changed the whole layout of Youtube all of a sudden alright, whatever let’s watch the sex competition Okay, when’s the sex competition gonna start? Okay, let’s go back to video games ah Man, you fucking die like a bit should have said that All right, well here’s what the opposite of a sex competition looks like the complete muggles guide to quidditch. Well, there’s seven people dream three chasers, two beaters A seeker and a keeper what chasers there are three of them on the pitch they wear white headbands They use a quaffle which is a volleyball Beaters wear black headbands there are two of them and they use bludgers to hit opponents. I’ve got to keep loads of control There’s two beaters there are three bludgers. So naturally one team’s Gonna have to bludgers the other team’s Gonna Have one what the team that is to watch us knitting is Probably the most fun that you can be possibly had throughout this whole game period Shit, okay? I can see why this guy plays and mistake Uh pretty much just has to take it and focus on catching the snitch, okay? I think I see now so as it turns out if you want to be the best at a sport you just make up your Own sport, and you’re immediately the best at it So I’m gonna make up my own sport called dick typing and here. We go with round one And I thought this is gonna be a bunch of weird nerds playing this game But you guys look totally I let any of you put your finger in my muggle or whatever I didn’t read these books It’s only now that I’m taping this comment with my big old Broomstick that I regret it harry Potter’s bad little gay dude It takes a starred orphan under his wing or something right or am I thinking about Milo you novelists his origin story the only difference I see is that Milo scars are all on the inside whereas emotions used to be anyway Thank you fellow athletes for this wonderful video, and I bet you can’t catch this smooch Three all right now let’s go to the judges score wait what what’s this paper doing taped on me? Yes perfect ten I win what is going on. Thanks robot well, you’re looking at the world’s first dick typing champion Think you can do better well record yourself typing with your dick and then put it on Twitter with the hashtag Dick typing and me and Robot will go through and score all of your entries. Uh uh all right check out this victory lap I’m about to do at Ted Cruz What does it feel like the talk shit on states that need aid now that you’ve got water up to your fat nipples to gross? Butter in a pan slap. Oh, wow shit, all right well Okay, it looks like I actually need to go the hospital right now There’s a lot more sharp edges on this keyboard than I thought there’d be so I Guess that means I lost Man, I fucking suck at Sports now on the Salvi Ericom store We are selling Ferret pill made of 100% real ferret these pills have the best nutriceuticals male fitness rejuvenation take these pills There’s a better chance. You’re gonna have kids, but don’t act like God nowhere. Else. They’re gonna get taken away

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99 thoughts on “Internet Comment Etiquette: “Strange Sports”

  1. Erik, did you know there is an unspoken, 'dating law' that demands: ANY man that owns a ferret(s) MUST announce it to the other person, on the first date. OR suffer horrible unspeakable consequences!

  2. i can't believe that video ended with that champ winker joke… must be a joke-video, then, cuz that's genius

  3. Oh lol I just recognized the front lawn where they were playing quidditch is where I went to college hahaha

  4. 7:03 don't shit on cs prick…

  5. I really want to make a joke about you needing a puka shell necklace with that shirt and that haircut but I feel like you probably already make that joke about yourself in this video but I don't have enough patience to watch the whole video before making this comment

  6. Oh man was just checking out those FROSTED TIPS and saw this was from 2017 and now I have more questions like is it harder to get Rolling Rock in Hawaii or harder to get Hawaiian shirts from the Latrobe brewing company in Pennsylvania or is it even harder to get a pube transfusion onto my chest asking for a friend it's his bar mitzvah thanks you've ruined commenting for me cheers #bless

  7. I've only ever won one strange sport in my life, qnd that was when the college kids taking care of the summer school at the YMCA got bored and decided to have us all fight each other in gladatorial combat. We set up a shitton of yoga mats and each wielded one of those bouncy balls with a handle you bounce around on when you were like 5. We had to beat the living shit out of each other with them until our opponents all fell off the mats. Turns out that despite being a ten year old fat autistic kid that was bullied by pretty much everyone, having long arms and at least a foot of height on everyone else really helps when smacking small children in the face.

  8. 2:02 watching this with the captions on somehow improves the experience.

    Surprised he went through the effort to add his own captions.

    You're welcome, deaf people.

  9. i was typing with my dick before you made this video, i bet you're not even really using your dick behind there

  10. You have brought a joy to my life I didn't think was possible anymore. You are literally the best and I love you.

  11. I would have loved to see blood squirt on your face at the last second. Ya let us all down, Eric. (Ever notice nobody ever uses your name unless they are expressing disappointment in you?)

  12. b jno
    /olkmj vbbv bv ujolik[;p['/;'/;kmjnbb vv bvjhnikjolp';p/'/;pjnm nb v vnhjm,ki,;olp'[;'[/;l.,.,ln n n

    dick typing is fun

  13. Dear Erik,

    I ain't gay, but I can learn.

    Sincerely, and as ever wishing to be your bouncing stick,

  14. A guy stole your name on instagram and used a picture of you wearing this shirt with a pineapple waffle in your hand. I saw this in the last video youtube pushed down my eyesockets. That picture must've been from this era of Erik

  15. calling Edwardo(ted) Raphael Cruz a butter goblin is a cruel thing to say about butter and goblins and yes I always use his full name for reasons that should be obvious

  16. Ferrets are actually super dangerous, I know a couple that had a baby ferret who snuck under the nursery door and ate their newborn's neck out.

  17. eric i love your channel but videos rarely come out. all your videos are fkn beautiful and make me want to jiggle my twinkles.
    im a gay ghost baby (.)(.)

  18. That guy apologised after you TK-ed him and you TK-ed him again. I'm starting to think this guy doesn't actually care about etiquette.

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