RETAIL REJECTS: Ep 8- Venting Frustrations


(Theme music plays – surf rock/ western feel) (singing) ♫ How was I supposed to know…that something wasn’t right yeah…♫ GRANDE: ♫ Oh baby, baby, I shouldn’t let you go…♫ ♫ and now you’re….out of…sight…♫ (GRANDE: nervous laugh) White girl. Asian persuasion. You really should have your own stage to sing on. GRANDE: Yeah, well, tell that to the hundreds of bands I’ve auditioned for and didn’t get into. I don’t really have an audience. You got me. Yeah, I’ll remember to belt out to you next time I need a stockroom check. Oh! I before I forget, I wanted to give you this. One of my customers is looking for a band for his wedding, so I told him I knew someone. VENTI: Plus, he owns this pub across town, so… if you get this gig there’s more to come. Thanks…Princess Charming. (both laugh) VENTI: You’re not going to be here for very long. I know it. VENTI: You’re gonna be super famous some day. I can see it now, your face plastered all over the roads and I’ll be like, “Yeah! That’s my bitch!” Your…? Bad…bad, bitch? I…I didn’t know I was your anything. (awkward laugh, high pitched noises) WeeellImeanlike I’m not pressuring you or anything… GRANDE: No, not labelling anything…
VENTI: No, no, like no labels… we’re just like…chillin’, Netflixin’… cooking…
BOTH: Eating out. (both laugh) GRANDE: I mean I’ve been thinking about it. I b…you have? I mean, not too much. I’ve been…but, only like as much as you have. Yeah, right? WALKIE: Britney, Britney, to second floor, Britney to second floor, over. Uh, which Britney? Baby One More Time Britney, In the Zone Brittany, or… Femme Fatale Britanay? WALKIE: Femme Fatale Britanay, this is a sales emergency. Over. Alright, she’s on it. Well, you’re up Femme Fatale. Yeah. Yeah. Oh! Ah, before I forget, I wanted to ah… wanted give you these. I wore them once at a show, and I was just going to give them away, so I thought… Really? …they’d look great on you.
VENTI: Thanks! You’re w–…mmmm. GRANDE: Mm…heh…hmmm. Yeah…sorry, I left a little bit of um… You can do that any time you want. Okay. I should go. Yeah. Oh, ah, here. Take that with you. Yeah! Yeah, okay. Um, actually, second floor’s that way. Right, yeah. (footsteps walking away) I like your suspenders. Oh, thank you. And, how are you? I’m good, yeah. You should wear just the suspenders. I saw your set last night. I think you’re confusing me with somebody else. Oh no no no, there’s no way that I can possibly confuse these arms. Those legs. And that amazing ass. I have to go. Damien to the store front please, Damien to the store front. Look, okay. Is this not you, from last night? Nope! Wrong Asian. You know, I think your girlfriend is ready for you in the fitting room. Ah, no. Trust me, she’s gonna be a while. Yeah ah…let’s talk for a while? I have to go. Damien, to the store front please! Look I’m sure there’s something we can work out. Look. The only thing you’re gonna have to work out are your hospital bills when I’m done with you. So just get away from me. Lindaaaa… LINDA: Damien. Britanay Zhu is gone, yes? She finally chose between her two jobs? Um, you could say that. Not exactly what happened. I am going to make the nicest meal for you tonight, because I know that I have been a little bit late getting home– BRITANAY: Damien! Yes, I can absolutely have that product organized to be shipped to you tonight, at six o’clock. Yes, thank you. You as well, bye for now. Just on a…just organizing a shipment, it’s a… Now Britanay I’m super happy that you were able to come in today, because I really wanted to talk to you– Yeah, so do I. You and the other Britney have been getting a little bit close. Mmmm, yeah. Wonderful. I really support friendship in the workplace– Which Britney? Oh, she’s about…this tall. Uh, like the lighter skinned one or the darker skinned one? Uh… really great personality. Really bubbly. Like, did her ancestors come from the east side or the west side of the coast? I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t be able to comment on the background of her culture. Like, what size dress is she? Oh…(awkward laugh) She, uh, she fits the healthy…healthy body type. Right. So like, did her ancestors survive the potato famine or the railroads? Oh, w…we, we can’t say those things. That was a tragedy. Right. So…you’re talking about…crackerjack Brit? ♫ Mm-mm, I cannot control it, I’m a… ♫ ♫ …slaaaave…for you ♫ I would never use…any of, ANY of those terms… but I do feel that we are talking about the same Britney here. And, you and her? Have a wonderful working relationship, I just want to make sure that you’re keeping it professional, I feel that we have a very clear notion here about how we want every single customer greeted, and if you’re in back and the two of you are…uh…conversating, you might not be able to get to those customers in time. Right. So, you’re not cool with my friendship with White Britney, but you’re okay with some creepy customer trying to hit on me upstairs? N-No, absolutely I do not support any harassment of my staff. Right, ’cause that’s what was happening when you were here diddling with your phone. No, I, I’ve been on a an important conference calls– Right. Is…is your…is your – is your…it’s not even – it’s not even on. Damien. Damien. Daaamienn. Britnay, Britnay.. I have to turn my Walkie Talkie off while I’m on important business calls– Right, you don’t even let us turn it off when we’re going to the bathroom. You see, that… is absolutely true, we may need to get you talking to our customers, like I said, very clear rules on how we want you to greet customers. Right, so there’s a creepy customer, I really needed your help to handle him, and you’re just here… Britanay. You have so much management potential. I would…I would be 100% backing you, whatever decision you made, because I know that you handled that situation exactly by the book. I am so done with you. I’m so done with this fricking company. I’m reporting you, and the fact that you would not help me with the situation, and the fact that you’re wearing sweatpants!! No, I wear dress pants all day on the floor! I have to…this is…I’m…it’s a medical condition! It’s…my hips, the pants are tight, I… I need to get out of the….aghhh. I left a little bit of…stuff there. Ah…you can get it later. Wow, okay. And…cut. You wouldn’t understand what it’s like wearing dress pants! I need…I need to release the…you…ooohh.

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