Hey everybody. Happy Wednesday. And since it’s Wednesday that means that I’m on the website, ‘W’ for Wednesday, we’re so clever. And I’m on youtube. So if you asked your questions under yesterday’s video, I’ll try to get through some of them later tonight, just answering them one by one. But I have picked two from youtube and two from the website, and then I have a journal topic. So, and sorry about yesterday’s video. Sean was trying out a new camera, and it didn’t work.
It was horrible. And that’s why it took forever to upload. Because first of all the audio was really quiet, if you noticed you couldn’t even hear me, and it was horrible. And so I thought that I was going to have to do it again. And then we had to export it, ehh. It was a nightmare. And then I thought that it went up yesterday evening before I went to bed but then I woke up to no video, and I was like WTF youtube.
So annoying. But anyway,
so now I am back on my phone,
my regular recording device for vloging. And it was weird to have Sean recording a vlog, because I’m not used to having anybody recording me but me. And I was like
‘This feels weird, I feel like I am doing a topic video’. If you noticed at the end I was like
‘Towards a healthy mind and a healthy body.’ Like I do with my other videos. And I was like, what’s happening? Okay, so anyway.
I’m chatting too much, I have to get through my questions. First question:
‘If you call a suicide hotline. Who will you be talking to, what will they say, what will they do, what will happen,’ ‘what will they ask? But the way this is for a friend not me as she has thoughts and wants to know what will happen if she calls. Thanks.’ Okay, so. If you call a suicide hotline you talk to someone like myself. Actually, it will be someone who is an intern usually. Because it’s one of those jobs that doesn’t pay at all,
or not very much. And us interns we end up working those jobs. And that’s fine. It’ll be, you usually have to the cell phone with you and you are on call for x amount of hours, and there are bunch of people doing this. So chances are you are just going to get someone just like me. What will they say. They will ask you about.
They will do a basic suicide assessment. And that means that they will ask, you know. Do you have a plan, what are your thoughts like, how long has this been going on? And then they will just try to talk you down. A lot of you I know have called suicide hotlines,
so can you please leave your feedback below. Because I know many of you have had good experiences with it and you’ve called multiple times. So nothing’s better than our actual personal experience, right. Yeah, so I think that’s it. Nothing really happens. If they are really worried for your safety, they are going to try to find out where you live because they are going to want to send a PET team, or some kind of, a PET team stands for Psychological Evaluation Team, I can’t quite remember. But they are just the people that you call to make sure that. If I have a suicidal patient, that’s who I call to make sure that they are okay. So they just want to keep you safe. It’s nothing scary, they are not going to force you into doing anything, or ask you a bunch of bunch of question. They just want to make sure that you are okay. Question number two:
‘Hey Kati, is it normal to judge others and immediately find them unattractive and ugly?’ ‘I really hate to judge others because no one has the right to and I try to replace that with positive thoughts and’ ‘it helps. Why is this happening? By the way, I have really low self esteem if that helps.’ I thought that this was really interesting, a lot of you commented back on this. So if you were the person that asked this, I know that you haven’t added me on google+ because I couldn’t reply and let you know that I was going to answer this. And other people replied to you and couldn’t reply either, so they just used your username. This happens when we feel really bad about ourselves, it oozes our into everything, oh no. And I find that if I am in a really shitty mood, I’m grouchy with everybody. I’m like ‘Eh, what are you doing, driving so terrible, who are you, oh my god, bleh bleh bleh.’ Because we are in such a bad headspace,
that we have no other outlet. And often times when we can’t tell whoever we are really upset about, or if it is actually nothing and we are just tired or hungry or whatever. Often times we just judge people, we look at people on the street and we are like ‘Ehh, I can’t believe she wore that, oh my god, dah dah dah.’ And we judge. And it’s not usually indicative of the person. It’s not about us, we’re not a bad person is what I mean to say. And it also isn’t about the person that we are judging, because most of the time they are not even ugly, unatractive, stupid. We are just frustrated and we are just full of hate and ugly stuff a lot of the time and so it’s oozing out. And like you said, replacing it with
positive thoughts really helps. And just being aware. I find that if I notice how many times I’m aggressive or angry or frustrated or judging to other people. The more apt I am to say ‘Hmm,’ I sit back and I think, ‘It’s really not that bad. And that person actually, I’m sure they are very sweet.’ You can just lie, because we don’t know them, right. We are judging them negatively so lets judge them positively. So say things like, ‘I bet she spent a lot of time getting ready, I bet she is really nice.’ Or, ‘Maybe she had a really hard day. Maybe she’s running really late.’ You know, cut them some slack. We’d hope the same from others, right. So I find doing the positive talk really helps. And usually is happening to answer the question directly, it usually happens because we are feeling really badly about ourselves. And we are judging ourselves so much that it’s coming out that way too. Question number three:
‘Is it normal to have trouble deciding whether it’s your’ ‘healthy voice or your eating disorder voice telling you to eat/exercise. For example, sometimes I have already’ ‘eaten a decent meal and I can’t tell if my healthy voice is telling me to eat because I didn’t eat enough.’ ‘Or if it is my ED voice telling me to binge. The same with exercise, and I do it to healthy. But my eating disorder wants me to do it excessively, etc.’ This is a really good question. And I hear this a lot from my clients, ‘But I don’t know which one, I can’t distinguish.’ Now this is where the intuitive eating workbook is the bomb. It is amazing. It really helps us, it can help people who don’t even struggle with an eating disorder actively right now, help us actually listen to our body. So something that I do, that I tell my clients to do, is to gauge your hunger and fullness level. Which they will talk about in that book, if you haven’t looked into the intuitive eating workbook, look into it. It’s amazing. But you will rate your hunger on a scale from, I think it’s zero or one, I’m not sure, till ten. Now if zero being like ‘I will murder you for food, I’m so hungry oh my god.’ Ten being like ‘I could bend over and throw up right now, I am so full.’ Ideally, we want to start eating when we are around a four, when we think ‘I am kind of hungry, wow I am really hungry.’ And we want to stop around a seven. An eight is, ‘Oh, I had two bites too many.’ A nine is ‘I feel stuffed to the gills.’ Do you see what I mean, how we kind of gauge. And I find it really helpful to start trying to use that. So how hungry am I? Well I am kind of hungry right now,
maybe I’m about a six or a five. I should probably start thinking about what do I want to make for dinner. And then as you are eating, make sure that you are not taking hours to eat, obviously. But within the half hour that you are eating or twenty minutes that you are eating, check in with yourself. Am I feeling pretty full? How am I doing? Am I eating the full portion that my dietician told me to? Am I adding more, am I eating less? Just start checking in and rating your hunger and fullness. I also sometimes will have my clients rate their emotion, like scale of emotions at the same time that we do food. Like ‘How hungry are you’, ‘Well I’m like a four so my emotion is like a eight because I am getting hungry and I am freaking out.’ So those can really help you. And if any of you have tips about this,
leave your comments below. But that tends to help my clients gauge emotional-ness and hunger and fullness. And also for exercise I find that doing like a set regiment for a while can be the most helpful. Like 30 minutes of walking three times a week. And then we see how we do. And we talk to our doctor and we have them implement a plan for us so that we can stick to that structure until we feel okay doing it on our own.
Okay. And if you are tired or sick, don’t work out. Don’t do it, it’s bad. Your body needs the rest. Just tell yourself, ‘Kati would say that it’s okay to rest. Bodies need rest. If we are not feeling good, don’t do anything extra.’ Okay. Question number four:
‘I am 38 and seeking out professional help for the first time to deal with issues from being abused as a child.’ ‘My dad, mom, and brother were all abusive to me in different ways growing up.’ ‘My mom is gone now. But I fear that my therapist would want me to confront my dad and/or brother or write’ ‘to them, or write them out of my life. And I don’t want to do either. My relationships with them may not be perfect,’ ‘but they are still part of my life and I still love them very much. The only outcome to confronting them that I’ ‘can envision would be damaging to both of us.’ Therapists aren’t going to force us to do anything. We may ask you to confront within yourself, your abuser. Maybe writing letters that you don’t send. But if you don’t have any of that built up animosity or anger, or hurt that’s still lingering, then they wouldn’t ask you to do that anyways. But if you do, it’s something that we are worried more about you healing for you, not doing anything outwardly to them. That is at your discretion, it’s your choice. Because you know your relationship with them, you know what you could say and do. If you are wanting to build a relationship, then it will mostly be the work with you and how you work on communicating with them. Now, some people like to say that they forgive them to their abusers at some point. Like, you know, ‘Dad, I love you and I forgive you for what happened in the past.’ That might be something that you do more for you than for him. And that’s not really confrontational, it’s just a thing that you are saying, you know, ‘I’ve been working it in therapy and letting the past go. And this is part of that.’ But it’s something that you will talk about with your therapist. So never feel like your therapist is forcing you to do things.
Okay. And if you have a therapist that is like,
‘You’ve got to do this’, I think you should look for another one. Because that’s supposed to be something that we do together. Like a dance kind of. Maybe. Maybe like a Salsa. Now I’m just kidding, now I’m getting off track. But you know what I mean, it’s more us working together as a team meeting you were you are at and making sure that you get the support that you need at that time. Okay. And speaking of dancing, I’ve got my journal topic. Music therapy,
what does it mean to you, what you tried it before? I love music as therapy. And I’m not talking, I don’t know if there are actual musical therapists, there probably are. I know that there are art therapists. That will do like movement therapy like dance and stuff. And that can be really healing. But for me I find music to be so therapeutic, and so incorporated into my life in a way that I find helpful. Whether I need upbeat happy music, you know. Like some people even listen to disney tunes, gets you really riled up. Or like dance music or rap music. Or yoga music, like, ‘I don’t even know what that words are la-la-la-la’ But it really helps you mellow out. So I would encourage you to share songs, we are all looking for new music all the time right. Share some new songs that you like and tell us what mood they go with. And lets figure out a better way to use music to help us out. And if you haven’t tried it, try putting on some happy music if you need to be more happy. And mellow music if your anxiety is through the roof. And see what happens, right.
We never know. And let me know what you think. I will see you all tomorrow, I will be on twitter, because it’s Thursday. So ask your questions there.
Bye. Subtitles by the Amara.org community